just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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