11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
