I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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