It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
