i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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