I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize