I think my fart just growled at me.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
