Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
