can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
