The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize