i jhust puked up my retainher.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
