For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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