My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize