I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
