His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
