i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
