Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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