i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we're making bets on your personal life
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
