Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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