I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
