Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
