a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Randomize
