he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
