I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
