escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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