I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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