Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
