Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
