You're my little dorito
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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