Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he fucked my hip out of place.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i now understand why vodka
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
