Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
