Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
