uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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