You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
