I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
