Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Blood and glitter go together right?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
