Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
