I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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