so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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