Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
