Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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