Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
