tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
