you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
