This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
