if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
