Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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