so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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