We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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