singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dear god my vagina.
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