Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize