loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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