guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
