Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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