reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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