you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
