Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
