he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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