that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
