I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize