I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
