I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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