It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
bring money and cleavage
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Vodka?
Forever.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
