So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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