Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
