In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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