We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize