i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
