Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize