dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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