True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i dont even know how to be here
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
